Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Save Me

My mother moved to her new place 3 weeks ago today.  She has the equivalent of bed sores on the back of her legs, probably from so much time in a wheelchair.  She has been in bed a great deal since the move so as to give her legs a chance to heal.  Until yesterday she has been keeping her eyes closed and I did not know if I would ever look into her eyes again.  The animals have been keeping watch.  Angus does an hourly walk through and sometimes even sprawls on the floor next to her bed.  I arrived one afternoon last week to find a tiny dachshund stretched out along side with his chin on her shoulder.  I do not know if she knew of his presence.  Yesterday while I was there, she opened her eyes for about 15 seconds, seemed to be fretting about something and ultimately grabbed my hand and whispered..."save me".  I stroked her cheek, held her hand and her eyes slowly closed again.  
Is this our next step in this process?  She is retreating inward more and more each day.  Each new decline, a mystery revealing itself.  
I make an appointment with my lawyer to redo my will, my health care directives and my end of life wishes.  I cannot save her, but perhaps I can save myself.

1 comment:

  1. There are times like this when you're glad their memories are short. Hopefully she quickly forgot what she needed saving from.